بسم الله والحمد لله
والصلاة والسلام على رسول الله ، وبعد
In the long Hadeeth of Jaabir رضي الله عنه, about the
description of the Prophet’s صلى الله عليه وسلم
Hajj, he narrated that on the Day of `Arafah, in the valley of `Arafah, in his
famous sermon, the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم
said: ❝Fear Allaah concerning women! Verily you have taken them
on the security of Allaah (or for you have taken them as a trust from Allaah), and
intimacy with them has become permissible to you through Allaah’s Word. You too
have right over them, and that they should not allow anyone to sit on your bed
whom you do not like. But if they do that, you can chastise them but not
severely (i.e. in a manner that does not cause injury or leave a mark). Their
rights upon you are that you should provide them with food and clothing in a reasonable
manner.❞
[Saheeh Muslim (2803), Sunan Ibn Maajah (3074), and Sunan
Abu Dawood (1905)]
Shaikh Ibn al-`Uthaymeen رحمه الله said:
۞ (During his
sermon) the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم
then directed towards the rights of the women who in the Jaahiliyyah (days of
ignorance) were oppressed and suppressed. The men used to enslave the women to
the extent that they were deprived of their share of the inheritance (i.e. when
her husband or her father passed away, she would receive nothing from their
wealth). They would say: "The women have no share in the inheritance.
Inheritance is only for men because it is they who used to defend the land, and
provide protection. But as for the women, they have no share of the
inheritance."
But Islaam commanded justice concerning women and gave them
their rights (long before any society or religion did); and from that is what
the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم
mentioned in this sermon when he said: ❝Fear Allaah concerning
women!❞
Do not oppress them, nor be careless or negligent concerning their rights, nor transgress
against them.
۞ And his صلى الله عليه وسلم
saying: ❝Verily you have taken them on the security of Allaah (or for
you have taken them as a trust from Allaah)…❞. They are a trust
with you. It is not permissible to act treacherously towards them or betray
them.
۞ And his صلى الله عليه وسلم
saying: ❝…and intimacy with them has become permissible to you
through Allaah’s Word❞, this is like the saying of Allaah تعالى:
﴿وَالَّذِينَ هُمْ لِفُرُوجِهِمْ حَافِظُونَ *
إِلَّا عَلَىٰ أَزْوَاجِهِمْ أَوْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانُهُمْ فَإِنَّهُمْ غَيْرُ مَلُومِينَ﴾
{And those who guard their
chastity (i.e. private parts, from illegal sexual acts) * Except from their
wives or (the captives and slaves) that their right hands possess, for then,
they are free from blame…} [Surah al-Mu’minoon (23): 5-6]
These are from the Words of Allaah عز وجل through which it becomes permissible for
the man to have intercourse with his wife.
۞ And his صلى الله عليه وسلم
saying: ❝You too have rights over them that they should not allow
anyone to sit on your bed whom you do not like.❞ This is from the
rights of the husband over his wife that she should not allow anyone, whom he
dislikes, to sit on his Faraash (bedding). The Faraash here means more than
just sleeping mattress or bedding; it includes every type of sheet or rug or
carpet that is used inside the house. It also means that a woman should not
allow anyone to enter the house of her husband whom he dislikes – irrespective
of whether they are her near relatives or distant ones. It is not permissible
for a woman to allow anyone to enter the house of her husband while he does not
approve of that.
[TN: Amongst the people
who the husband can prevent from entering his house are those who try to break
up the families, either it be between husband and wife, father and son, mother
and daughter etc.:
Question: Is it
permissible for the husband to prevent his wife from maintaining bonds with her
kinship, especially her mother and father?
Answer: Maintaining ties of kinship is Waajib (an
obligatory act), and it is not permissible for the husband to prevent his wife
from doing so; because severing bonds of kinship is from the major sins. And it
is not permissible for the wife to obey her husband in this regards, because
there is no obedience to the creation in disobedience to the Creator. Rather
she should maintain ties of kinship through her personal wealth,
correspondences and visits to them; except when such visits would be damaging
the rights of the husband. If the husband fears that her close relatives would
instigate her against him, then he has the rights to prevent her from visiting
them. So in this case she should maintain her ties of kinship without visiting
them.
[Shaikh Saaleh al-Fawzaan – فتاوى علماء البلد الحرام ص 1397]
This is also based on the saying of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم: ❝Anyone
who incites a woman against her husband or a slave against his master is not
one of us.❞
[Sunan Abu Dawood (2175 and 5170) and graded as Saheeh by Shaikh al-Albaanee in
al-Saheehah (324, 325)]]
۞ And his صلى الله عليه وسلم
saying: ❝But if they do that, you can chastise them but not
severely (i.e. in a manner that does not cause injury or leave a mark)❞, meaning: if she
allows someone to enter the house whom you dislike, then your are permitted to
chastise them. In this Hadeeth the Prophet said to ❝chastise them❞, whereas in the Qur’aan
Allaah تعالى
says:
﴿وَاللَّاتِي
تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَهُنَّ فَعِظُوهُنَّ وَاهْجُرُوهُنَّ فِي الْمَضَاجِعِ وَاضْرِبُوهُنَّ﴾
{As to those women on whose
part you fear ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (next), refuse to share their
beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful)…} [Surah
al-Nisaa’ (4): 34]
The difference between the Aayah and the Hadeeth is that in
the Aayah Allaah تبارك وتعالى
said: {As to those women on whose part you fear
ill-conduct (misbehavior, arrogance etc.)}, (i.e. something which
you fear might happen), whereas the Hadeeth is concerned when the wrong action has
already happened, so she is to be beaten (lightly) in order to discipline her
(for her past mistake) and not as a rectification for the future. Her
rectification is in the saying of Allaah تعالى: {admonish
them (first), (next), refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them
(lightly, if it is useful)…}, whereas here in this Hadeeth, it is
for disciplining and censuring her for the thing which she already did – i.e. by
allowing a person to enter whom her husband dislikes.
۞ And his صلى الله عليه وسلم
saying: ❝but not severely❞, meaning: in a manner that does not
cause injury or leave a mark, but only a light beating to discipline her and to
establish the man’s authority over her.
۞ And his صلى الله عليه وسلم
saying: ❝Their rights upon you are that you should provide them
with food and clothing in a reasonable manner❞, meaning: providing them
with (nutritious) food and drink which helps in maintaining their body (and
health).
[TN: As Allaah تعالى says:
{O mankind! Eat of that which is lawful and good
on the earth, and follow not the footsteps of Shaitaan. Verily, he is to you an
open enemy.} [Surah al-Baqarah
(2): 168]
{O you who believe! Eat of
the good things that We have provided for you and be grateful to Allaah
if it is Him you worship.} [Surah
al-Baqarah (2): 172]
{So eat of the good
and lawful things which Allaah has provided for you; and be grateful to
Allaah for His favors, if you are sincere in His worship.} [Surah al-Nahl (16): 114]]
❝and clothing❞, meaning: that which covers the external parts of
her body.
These are from the responsibilities of a husband but ❝in a reasonable manner❞, meaning: which is
known to the people (of the land). The rich will spend according to his means
and the poor according to his means.
And what is famous in the (Hanbalee) Madhhab is that the
standard of living of both the husband and wife should be taken into
consideration.
The second opinion is that only the husband’s standard of living
is to be taken into consideration.
The third opinion is that the wife’s standard of living will
be taken into consideration.
And the correct opinion is: only the husband’s standard of
living will be taken into consideration because of the saying of Allaah تعالى:
﴿لِيُنفِقْ ذُو سَعَةٍ مِّن
سَعَتِهِ ۖ وَمَن قُدِرَ عَلَيْهِ رِزْقُهُ فَلْيُنفِقْ
مِمَّا آتَاهُ اللَّـهُ﴾
{Let the rich man spend
according to his means, and the man whose resources are restricted, let him
spend according to what Allah has given him.} [Surah al-Talaaq (65):
7]
The wealthy woman married to a wealthy man, then her needs would
be taken care off in a richly manner. The poor woman married to a poor man, her
needs would be taken care off according to the means. The woman of the middle
class married to a man of middle class, her needs would be taken care off in a moderate
manner. This is clear and encompasses all the other opinions.
A rich woman married to a poor man, her needs would be taken
care off in accordance to the means of the poor man - if the standard of living
of the husband is taken into consideration; and in a richly manner if the
standard of living of the woman is taken into consideration; and in a moderate
manner if the standards of both the husband and wife are taken into
consideration. But the most correct opinion is that only the husband’s standard
of living is taken into consideration.
It is also understood from this Hadeeth that the woman is
not required to provide for her husband (and spend on him) even if she is rich and
he is poor, because the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم made it clear in
this gathering that spending is the responsibility of the husband; This is in
opposition to Ibn Hazm رحمه الله who said: “If the husband is poor and the wife is rich,
then he can make it binding upon her to spend on him because of the saying of
Allaah تعالى:
﴿وَعَلَى
الْوَارِثِ مِثْلُ ذَٰلِكَ﴾
{And the same duty rests upon
the (father's) heir} [Surah al-Baqarah (2): 233]
The wife is the heir of her husband, so she is obliged to
spend on him.
Then it is said: Yes! But this is only when the spending is
for the sake of consolation (or comfort). But if it was as an allowance or
compensation, then it is not possible to make it a duty on the wife to spend
for her husband because the one who gets the pleasure (out of his wife through
sexual intercourse) is the husband. This is why Allaah تعالى mentioned
the Mahr (bridal money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage)
as Ujr (recompense or payment), as if he has paid for the services. So spending
on her is compensation (for her services) and not as a consolation. But if it is
from the perspective of consolation, like spending upon the (poor) relatives,
then yes, it is necessary that the rich provide for the poor.
What if someone says: “The wife also enjoys the pleasure
like how the husband does”?
We say: Yes! Both of them get the pleasure out of it, but
the one who initiates the matter is the husband. So he is the one who really
gets the pleasure out of it, whereas her pleasure is only in succession to his.
This is what has been narrated in the Hadeeth that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: ❝When
a man calls his wife to his bed, and she does not respond and he (the husband)
spends the night angry with her, the angels curse her until morning.❞ [Saheeh al-Bukhaaree
(3237, 5193) and Saheeh Muslim (3368)]
[TN: In another narration: The Messenger of Allaah صلى الله عليه وسلم said:
❝When a woman spends the night away from the bed of her
husband, the angels curse her until morning (or until she comes back).❞ [Saheeh al-Bukhaaree
(5194) and Saheeh Muslim (3366) and the wordings are his]
In another narration: the Messenger of Allaah صلى الله عليه وسلم said: ❝By
Him in Whose Hand is my life, when a man calls his wife to his bed, and she
does not respond, the One Who is above the heaven becomes displeased with her
until he (her husband) becomes pleased with her.❞ [Saheeh al-Bukhaaree and Saheeh Muslim (3367)]]
He صلى الله عليه وسلم
did not say: “When the wife calls her husband to the bed…”, because the greater
concern is for the man. And the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said:
❝And indeed I order you to be good to the women, for they
are but captives with you…❞
[TN: The complete
narration is as follows:
❝I enjoin good treatment of women, for they are prisoners
with you, and you have no sovereignty beyond this over them, unless they commit
clear indecency; if they do that, then forsake them in their beds and hit them,
but without causing injury or leaving a mark. And if they obey you then you
have no cause against them. Indeed you have rights over your women, and your
women have rights over you. As for your rights over your women, then they must
not allow anyone whom you dislike to treat on your bedding (furniture), nor to
admit anyone in your home that you dislike. And their rights over you are that
you treat them well in regards to their clothing and food.❞ [Sunan al-Tirmidhee (1163, 3087) and Sunan Ibn Maajah (1851)
and graded as “Hasan” by Shaikh al-Albaanee]]
[Sharh Saheeh Muslim of Shaikh Ibn al-`Uthaymeen
(4/336-338)]
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